How Social Media Ruins Lives
We are blessed to live in a time with such great technology. We can access almost any information we want at the touch of a button. These days, people are on their phones or computers almost 24/7 connecting with friends, playing games, researching a certain topic, or engaging in one of countless other virtual activities offered by our advanced technology. There are so many wonderful ways in which technology helps us today, but could it actually be damaging to our mental health and interpersonal relationships? The answer is absolutely. While social media is a great way to connect with friends and family, it is also very damaging to the overall health of relationships, both interpersonal and intrapersonal.
Social media can be detrimental to a person’s mental health and the health of that person’s relationships with others. It gives people the feeling and satisfaction of personal connection without actually engaging with one another. People can communicate so easily online that they often lose interest in actually communicating in person. Two similar studies were conducted to determine whether social media usage created conflict in relationships in which both Kerkhof et al. and Clayton et. al. found that in relationships where there was excessive social media use by at least one partner, there was also more conflict between the couple (2011, 2013).
Social media creates a disconnect between partners and often makes one of them feel like they are not good enough for the other because of what they have seen on social media. It will cause one partner to lose focus on the actual relationship and try and be the person he or she sees on Instagram. Similarly, if a woman catches her boyfriend scrolling through another woman’s Facebook, she may become jealous and try to be more like the person on the phone rather than just being herself. This creates unrealistic expectations and lowers self-esteem when a person constantly sees people with seemingly better lives than they have themselves. Chamin Ajjan alluded to this when he said in his research that “what you will mostly see [on social media] are curated and filtered posts that only highlight unrealistic images of what a relationship is.” These obscure expectations create lots of jealousy when you see someone who seems better off than you.
People have become so hypnotized by social media that many of them have forgotten how to have a real, genuine face to face conversation with a real person. A study by the School of Communications at Brigham Young University found that the top three negative effects of social media use on emotions were frustration, depression, and social comparison. From the same study, it was concluded that the top three negative effects of social media use on interpersonal relationships were distraction, irritation, and decreased quality time with their significant other in offline settings. It is so simple to go online and connect with a friend that when it is time to actually go out and socialize people will not feel comfortable anymore since they have been hiding behind a screen for so long.
Like anything, social media is useful and beneficial in moderation. It can be both good and bad for relationships depending on how we use it. Without taking a look at our own bad habits and analyzing the effect they have on our lives, we cannot truly understand this effect, no matter how extreme. This is why I suggest that people analyze their own social media habits to ensure that they are not damaging their relationships, rather strengthening them.
